Idealistic Parenting

I just took Fiona in for her 12 month shots. It was hellish, of course. She had to get four in all and she cried harder with each one, until she was beet-red in the face. It is amazing to me how it is so easy to be idealistic about things concerning the children that you don't have but as soon as you pop one out, it changes so rapidly.

I had no intention of getting Fiona immunized before she arrived, scared by the thimerasol and it's link to autism as well as other risks. I also never intended to be induced or have any drugs in labor or give her fluoride or allow her to have millions of toys or watch TV, etc. I did have to be induced, but not with drugs. My midwife burst my water and the rest progressed naturally without any drugs or intervention with exception to a couple of blood pressure tests. That was intensely painful but I would do it again and will, I imagine. I quickly gave in to the immunization argument, deciding that keeping her alive was my ultimate goal and the percentages of children who have ill effects from the shots is very small. Also, the thought of what could happen if everyone decided not to vaccinate seemed far fetched but scary to say the least. It seemed (and this is MY personal opinion) selfish of me not to do it. Shortly after she was born, I had more clothes and toys than I knew what to do with since she is the only grandchild on my side and my mother has a shopping problem. Now, my living room looks like a day care and I spend ten minutes after dinner rounding up toys from under the couch, chairs and dog to throw them in the basket which gets dumped immediately in the morning. I do let her watch Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby videos as well as PBS when I need a couple of minutes to myself.

Basically, I have decided that there is no point in setting unreasonable goals. It doesn't have to be black or white. Life is a balancing act. IF I need to occupy her by putting her in front of an educational video for a few minutes so that I can run and grab the cleanest clothes from my bedroom floor to dress myself, it is not going to ruin her life. Hell, I had a TV in my room from 18 months old and I think I turned out alright. The one thing that I would change is all of the toys. It is hard to tell people not to buy your child toys, though, and I don't want to seem ungrateful because we are very grateful for everyone's generosity but she is honestly happiest with a couple of plastic measuring cups, an empty box or a balloon. I am starting a 529 for her in hopes that I can persuade family and friends to put their money where it really counts...In to her education, if they are so inclined to spend money on her. We will see how that goes.